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ReApMySoUl

Aug. 18th, 2011

07:52 pm - Crazy life of mine

Wow.. it seems like everytime I think about posting, something major has went on in my life.  I miss blogging oh so very much!  Since my last post, I am still full of bitterness toward my birthfather and his family.. I just wish that I knew the underlying reason for his hate towards me.  I went to see a palm reader right before my last post and she told me that I would find my answer in Church and that I needed to go back.  Well, it had been 20+ years since I had really been.I went back.   The second sermon that I attended was about inheritance.. it opened my eyes and let me know that it wasn't me.. and it wouldn't have mattered even if it was me.. what my birthfather did to me was wrong and it opened my eyes to the fairytale dream that I've had all these years about where I came from. Real life.. reality.. it's not always what we want it to be.



Since I wrote last, I now have a 3 month old little boy who , along with my 13 year old.. are my world.  He was totally unexpected and a wonderful surprise, I got to go in the labor unit with his birthmother and the whole 9 yards.  I brought him home from the hospital. I felt like from day 1, when I found out that I was getting him.. that he was God's gift to me, his promise that he will never forsake us.  I'm a happy mama.

May. 31st, 2010

11:55 am - almost 6 months later

Wow.. it's really been almost 6 months since I've  been on LJ?  Unreal!  
My last post was about how cold it was.. now it's smoking hot and humid!

A few things have changed in my world since my last post.  I decided to try my luck at rental property so I bought a house in the next town over that was a foreclosure. We've been spending all of our extra time, painting and fixing little things around the place. finally making it look like a home rather than a place that's been empty for several  years.  We still have a few weeks work left to go, then the rental sign will go up.  My plans are for the house to pay for itself for several years, then sell it for profit.   Once this one is up and going and IF it does well.. I'd like to add another rental property soon.  It's a LOT of work though and I've been spending every second of any extra time that I have working on it seems like, I've painted so much that my hands are sore.   Hubby .. wow.. he is so skilled at doing fix it stuff.. this could never work if he wasn't.  I haven't seen a thing that he can't do! 

A few weeks ago I was bitten by a spider at work.  Wow.. I was really sick.  I felt it when it bit me, but didn't think anything at all about it... thinking that a new necklace that I had on just pinched me.  I woke up that Saturday morning running 102 + fever.   It didn't break for 4 days either!  I went to the doctor and they gave me a Rocephin and tetanus shot, a bottle of antibiotics and some really thick creme to put on the spot.  I fainted in the office after the shots, not sure if it was because I had worked myself up so  much over the shots or that i was dehydrated.. or the medicine itself.. either way, I fell out!  Scary stuff.    I still have a red spot where the spider got me at, but it isn't infected or horrible looking at all. 

I'm off work today.  I'm seeing that Victor and Nicki are still on the Young and Restless and The Price is Right just isn't the same anymore without Bob Barker on it!   I've decided that i'm staying home today and being domestic.. it has to happen since I haven't been at home much in the last month! 

Happy Memorial Day!

Sep. 13th, 2009

10:31 pm - It's time.. time for a new me!

Almost 2 weeks ago I started a diet.. I honestly couldn't stand myself anymore and felt it was time to do something.  I'm bigger than I've ever been EVER and I dont have anyone to blame but myself for that. 

I remember when I started gaining weight, right after losing my only pregnancy to miscarriage, dealing with a mentally and physically abusive husband.. the only comfort that I had was food.   I wasn't working at the time and I remember staring at those 4 walls day in and day out. Depressed, lonely and stressed from the recent loss of my father also.  I was in my early 20's and food was my friend.

Now in my mid 40s.. I look at my face and I still see me, but when I look at the rest of myself I don't know that person. I've decided to fix that problem and I'm serious this time.

I started on the Alli (sp) program.  Basically what it does is block a percentage of the fat that you consume.  Well, I found out QUICK that this is a perfect behavior modification program for overeating and eating items high in fat. Just what I need!  Lets put it this way.. since it's a fat blocker.. if you consume too much food or too much fat.. your gonna be perched on the throne for awhile! 

Believe you me, my lifestyle is busy and thats the last place that I have time to camp out at  all day.  So, I just am very VERY careful about what I eat.   As long as you eat right, you'll have no problems.   I've stopped drinking Dr. Pepper.. I was drinking 2 cans a day.. which is way less than some people but still not good for  you.  Here in the south.. we love our super sweet tea.. I can say that I really do miss that but Splenda does a great job of faking it.

I realize that this is a MAJOR feat for me.  I prayed and asked God to help me do it and to give me strength.  Everytime that I find myself wanting to cave in I ask him to help me.. He has been a fantastic support system!    
 
So far I've lost 5 lbs.  That isn't much in 2 weeks but hey... I'll take what I can get and I'm not going to beat myself up if the lbs don't come off as fast as I'd like for them to.  That's 5 down and LOTS to go.  Water, Water and more WATER!  

Yay ME! 

Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished

Mar. 25th, 2009

09:39 pm - Stormy night

It's a very stormy night here.. the satellite has gone out, so no TV.  just the sounds of the the storm along with the wind pounding on my tin roof over the patio.  Hopefully the rain will help wash some of this pollen away that's covering everything and making it bright yellow. 

My 16 yr old poodle passed away in Feb.  I miss him so much..he made every step that I've made nearly for all these  years, slept in the bed with me up until last year when he started falling off, and went thru a couple of husbands with me even!  lol..   He was the most loyal man I've ever know, seriously.   I had him cremated and he now sits in a beautiful brass and mother of pearl urn in my china cabinet.  When the day comes that I pass away, I hope that my wishes will be honored to have him buried with me.  It's what he would have wanted.

Earlier this month I was bitten by a brown recluse spider on my foot.  Let me tell you, that was one painful thing!   I was very careful with it, and kept it covered with a bandage containing silver something or other, and cleaned it with peroxide several times a day.   I'm happy to say that I don't think I will have any permanent skin loss  from it.. even though it's still sore, it seems to be healing well.  I'm scared of spiders in a big way.. this is the second time that I've been bitten. 

My job is going well.  I have a new boss who is wonderful.  My ex boss was screwing stuff up in a big way.  Things are much more laid back now than what they were.. all of us seem to have a new outlook with the new boss. 

I just saw new pictures of my birthmom and sisters.  It's been years since I've seen her and I just sorta sat and looked at the pictures.   I think I'm so different than them. .. I notice myself getting nervous and irritated when I see her pictures for some reason.  Her husband has aged so much... it shocked me, but then again it's been years.    Pictures of the whole family.. my birthmom, brother and 2 sisters that I have never met.. it bugs me I guess that I'll never be a part of what they have as a family.   It's a strange feeling.

I'm waiting for this storm to pass so I can go to bed.. Guess I worry about sleeping thru a tornado or something, lol..

night yall!

Current Mood: contentcontent

Mar. 24th, 2009

09:19 pm - I'm still alive~

Wow.. I didn't realize that it had been 13  weeks since my last post!  Mostly these days I blog on Myspace and recently discovered facebook too.  I don't care for facebook that much.

My baby girl turned 11 Saturday. It seems weird.  My baby.  My preteen baby.  We had a fantastic party for her birthday.. a Hawaiian Luau theme.  We let the kids get into the hot tub, grilled burgers and hot dogs and rented one of those big hopper things.  THEN, 5 of the girls spent the night.  I've never seen so many dirty/wet towels in all my life! lol.. The girls stayed up all night long.  I'm glad it turned out fun.. Chels said that all the kids were talking about her party Monday and how fun it was. 

Newsflash!!!!

My oldest daughter has been coming around... She's came over about 4 times in the last few weeks.  My guard is  up big time, and she isn't the same child that I raised.  I've came to the conclusion that it "is what it is" and I need to just take the good with the bad and not let her test my limits.

She has a tattoo now, and a tongue ring that she loves to show off.. She came to chels' birthday party dressed in a halter top with her entire bra sticking out of the back.. not just straps.. I was  very embarrassed but what do you do?  She's 24 yrs old and I didn't raise her to be like she is today.   So, it is what it is. 
The baby is darling.  I'm trying not to get too attached to her because  just as soon as I do, they'll be gone again.  I know this.  Her boyfriend is still the same ... he sat at the party and didn't mingle or really even speak to anyone.  It's his personality or breeding or a little of both.  I worry about the baby, but I really try not to think about it so I wont.

She seems happy to be around us.  I'm glad.
Her boyfriend got her to ask me for 10 dollars for gas.  I knew it wasn't for gas.. and I said no.  It felt good.  I knew if I started something like that it would only get worse.    Sure enough, he went out partying that night.. but at least it wasn't on my money! 

Well, it's my bedtime folks.. I just wanted to check in!   Hugs!~ 

Dec. 19th, 2008

10:07 pm - wondering if I'm ever


gonna get done with shopping. 

I still have some main gifts to get... husband, mother and aunt.. which are my biggies other than the Santa stuff. 

I'm not just totally thrilled with anything that I've gotten anyone this year, and I've totally cut back, just because. 

I'm having a little party for the guys at work Tuesday.. I want to make it special for them.. and I'll do my best.. but with the cost of food like it is,  I hope they don't expect a big spread.. I'll do a cake, cookies and some candy.. maybe deviled eggs.   One of the bosses is cooking Chili and the guys are donating $3.00 each to cover expenses for that.  Some of them actually grumbled about having to pay 3 dollars.. geez. 

I have a party to go to Tuesday night.. then I'll be hosting a get together here.. then another one Christmas afternoon.  I've been cooking my butt of lately and freezing things.  I'm not going just way overboard this year like previous years... It works me too hard and I don't have any help, not even with the cleanup.  I enjoy having everyone over, but the bottom line is, I just work too much now to put on big party like I use to do.  Tomorrow I need to make out my menu's and go to the grocery store.   I've been good at  using coupons lately for things, and stocking up on things as they come on sale.   I figure with the economy in this town like it is right now, I probably need to get in practice again.


New Years Eve we'll be going to a friends for a get together.. we always have a blast and I'm excited about getting to see everyone.  It's been awhile and it will be nice to just relax and enjoy. 

I think I'm done with my Santa doings.. She's getting a TV, Nintendo DS games and other odds and ends.  She wanted a flat screen TV, but.. ugh.. I just couldn't see that just yet!

Has anyone ever made Turtle butter candy?  I made it the other night and I have to say that it's the prettiest candy that I remember seeing in a long time.. and OHHHH so easy!  I broke mine apart like bark, instead of cutting into squares.. I think it's going to be a hit!   I'll make another batch tomorrow to send to the police station and have for my work party.   So far I've made that, caramel dipped pretzels and fudge.. which was much easier than my granny's recipe, but good none the less.. I have some cakes and cookies frozen too... thank goodness for the freezer! 

I've had these small, freaky looking knots come up on the inside of my left wrist recently.  They are spongy feeling and look about the size of a pea and under the skin.  I keep hoping that they will go away but they haven't yet.   I guess it's going to mean a trip to the doctor soon, I just hope that he doesn't say surgery... both of my jobs require extensive use of my hands.. and cannot be done if I'm in any sort of cast at all.  I wish I knew what these things were. 
 

I hope everyone has a bright and beautiful weekend before Christmas!

Current Mood: very very sleepy!

Nov. 27th, 2008

08:40 am

Happy Thanksgiving Ya'll!

I'm spending the day alone for the most part.. hubby had to work a 12 hr shift and the little one is at her dads for the day.  We'll have our Thanksgiving dinner tonight once everyone gets home.  This is the first quiet Thanksgiving that I've had in a while, years!  It seems very strange. 

I like to cook when I'm alone.  I don't have to stop and do anything unless it's to tend to one of the furbabies or something.  Usually I just leave the backdoor open and watch them playing outside.
Speaking of Furbabies... A couple of months ago we adopted a Boxer from the animal shelter nearby.  He was soooo skinny, his hip bones stuck out and his ribs were showing..he weighed only 34 lbs the day that we got him, poor baby.  Like everything else around here. myself included.. I can proudly say that he has some meat on his bones now and has easily gained at least 20 lb lbs. He's beautiful, shiny and spoiled rotten.  He is definitely full blooded..I can't see someone just chunking him out.. but maybe they got him not realizing the high energy that they have.  We named him Sam, the name just seemed to fit him. He loves to love on you and give hugs.. such a personality too!

Animals just seem to come to us for some reason.. We had a stray cat that had beautiful white kittens and we luckily were able to give them all away to a great family who took the mother too.   A few days ago, we looked outside and there was yet ANOTHER stray cat lying on the blanket on the porch all snuggled up to the yard dog.  This is a HUGE big male cat with long hair.. he disappears during the day, but at night he's right back in his spot next to the dog. 

The downside of living in a rural area is that idiots dump their animals out here pretty often.  I think the police should make a few examples out of these people that choose to do that.

This is a very bleak Thanksgiving for some people in this town this year.  Our local paper mill closed down just last week.. never to reopen again.  Since this has always been a Mill town and that's the main industry here.. well, the ONLY industry really.. it scares me for the town.. it scares me for even MY job on down the line.  We had a local car lot go out of business here too and the huge lot is empty now.. just a product of the sad state of our economy this year.   I'm thankful that we both have jobs, and even though we'll never get rich at either of them.. we both enjoy what we do and we are blessed in so many ways. 
I had an old man tell me the other day that this is the time to be frugal.. to save instead of spend and to cut back when and where we can.  Times are bad for this nation as far as the economy goes. 

I'm cutting back on spending this year.. We'll buy for Chels of course, but the older, grown  kids we won't. They all have jobs, minus my daughter whom I haven't seen in 2  yrs come April.   We've spent on all of them every year and never as much got a Christmas card from them.  We'll buy for our Mothers and each of us have a brother that we will buy something for, 3 teacher gifts this year and each other, and that's basically going to be it.   I would love to buy for my Grand daughter, but... they wouldn't give it to her if I did.. so I'm not wasting the money, besides.. she has no clue who I even am.

Any suggestions on Teacher gifts this year?   I usually do dish towels because I like to give something that they can use.. but I'd like to do something different this year, I just don't know what. 

I'd better get back to cooking..

Happy Thanksgiving!

Current Mood: contentcontent

Oct. 19th, 2008

11:01 pm - The haunted plantation and our weekend trip


Chels made Allstate Choir.  This is a big honor and only a few of kids are picked from each area.  We spent the day in Baton Rouge yesterday.  Their performance was great, with the exception of the very end when they let 2 girls pipe in with a solo part, which wasn't suppose to be a jazzy spiritual but the kids stood up there and tried to make it sound that way... Ewwwww, those few lines were seriously BAD!  They could have left that part out.. people in the audience were cutting eyes at each other, wondering what the heck!

Chels did good and looked so pretty.  Her looks are changing so much just this year.  I have all my pics posted on myspace, if you'd like to look, please do!  Also, add me if you'd like and have a page yourself. http://www.myspace.com/remembertheredhead

On the way back from Baton Rouge, We stopped at the Myrtles plantation in St. Francisville, LA. us three, my ex husband, his girlfriend and her kids stopped too.   Maybe you have heard of this plantation, it's one of the most haunted places they say.  If you google about the place, you'll get a history that's very interesting.  Sylvia   Brown has been there, and the Montel Williams show did a segment on it, along with other media people.  

One of the tales of the place involves a young slave girl that got her ear chopped off.. she haunts the place and is known to take women's earrings.. just one of them.   Chelsea warned me not to wear any earrings.. I did and I kid you not.. while I was walking on the  grounds I felt my ears and one of my earrings was missing!!  The kids just absolutely LOVED this.. and were so freaked out by it.. as was I!   Chels ran in and told the lady that worked there and she said that it happens all the time, to leave my name and phone number and they would contact me when it showed up in the house somewhere.  Normally, I don't believe stuff like this, but It seriously happened to me!! 
I also have pictures posted on myspace that we took while there.  They say that the ghostly images and things show up in the pictures.. one of my friends just emailed me and told me that there was a face in one of the pictures and a shadowy figure in a window..  and I saw it too.. if you look at the pictures you'll see the comment she left.  Please if you look at the pictures and see anything, let me know or leave a comment so everyone can see it under the picture!!

Our trip there was fun.  I went exploring on the grounds with the kids while everyone else seemed less interested and sat at the tables waiting on the tour.   I wanted to walk around and feel the place.. and felt it I did!   We walked under the trees and by an old well.. I felt a strong feeling in one spot in the yard.. so we took pictures there.  The kids found some black cats wandering around which added to their excitement of the place and it being so close to Halloween too.. they were excited.  I would like to go on their mystery tour at night, but I definitely would not want to spend the night there.  It's a bed a breakfast too, but around $200 a night to stay.
 

Current Mood: crazycrazy

Jul. 1st, 2008

09:34 pm - I'm still alive

Well, It's been awhile since I've posted.  The month of June has seriously tried to kick me in the behind.  My husband is in the process of losing his job, he was able to pick up another one though.. not nearly as good and a town away.. which means that now he'll have to use his gas instead of gas that's paid for already.  No benefits, no retirement. That's a bummer, but at least he found something.  Just when I think I can slow down working, seems like something like this pops up.  Oh.. and I just bought a new car one week before he found out about his job.  A brand new one.  gotta love my timing.  Needless to say, i've been stressed lately.

We had a good friend drop dead right in front of hubby and another one of their friends last week.  Fine one second.. massive heart attack the next and dead.  Fell out in an old Walmart parking lot and died right there.  We were shook up something awful.  Thank God I wasn't with them when it happened. 

I mostly blog on Myspace lately.. depends on what I'm blogging about really. 

I hope everyones good.. I'm catching up on ya'lls blogs right now!

May. 2nd, 2008

09:37 pm - IRS BS

I finally managed to get my injured spouse form filled out.  This will allow me to stake my claim on MY part of the tax return.  I've learned my lesson.  From this  year forward I'll file alone and grab my own deductions, including daycare and business deductions and child tax credit AND earned income credit .. screw ex wives that have no common sense, and people that fail to disclose stuff they 'd like to think has magically disappeared.  I mean, you know.. you just don't *forget* about thousands! 

Tomorrow is my birthday.  I'll be 43.  I know it's a number, but geez.. where did all the time go.   Hubby decided that he was going to bake me a cake, and he's been working on it all afternoon.  I thought that was really sweet of him, especially since he never cooks!   Of course, he's doing a good bit of kissing up over the tax stuff still too.  I was telling my boss about what happened with the taxes.. He said.. "oh wow!! I bet ya'll had a huge fight over that,"  My reply to him was.. " uh.. nope.  *WE* didn't have anything to fight about, but *I* brought down the house!!  He knew better than to say anything.   I better get my freakin money! 


We're in the middle of a Thunderstorm, the weather has been pretty rough this afternoon, but nothing like the damage that I saw in some places on CNN news tonight.

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